The Decision

As I've said, Curly's appointment has been set for November 30.   I made the appointment for later in the month to give friends and family a chance to come by and give him a last scratch behind the ears.  The down side is it gives me lots of time to flip-flop on my decision.  There are days that he doesn't look too bad BUT I don't want to wait until some traumatic event forces me to make an emergency decision. It really doesn't need to come to that.

This is the one time it really pays NOT to humanize your pet.  By that I mean, it makes the decision easier, for me at least, to look at him and think that he is oblivious to my decision.  His last day will seem like the day he hit the jackpot because he will get lots of treats and not have a clue what his day will bring.

For humans, we're in an unfortunate situation in which if we knew what day would be our last, we would sit back and reflect on what we would miss, what we didn't accomplish yet, what we wish we could still do.  For Curly, he will wake up that day, get a HUGE breakfast with all of his favourite things - steak, sardines, and maybe even a little chicken.  He'll get a walk and a rest. He'll get some fresh baked Peanut Butter and Saskatoon biscuits, followed by a light meal of more steak.  He will get to go for a car ride with a pillow on the seat so he can stick his nose out the window - one of his favourite things.  He'll get another walk once we get to the office.  And then he will get a super drug that will dope him up, make him comfortable, and make the pain and anxiety go away. He'll get lots of pets and kisses and then his jackpot day will end. And he will never be in pain again.  He won't have regrets.  He won't miss anyone.  He will just have the best day of his life.

And yes I will be sad but it is the last thing I can responsibly do for him and it is my honour to do that.  And I won't look back because I could second guess this but it won't change anything.  He's not getting better and I have the power to stop his suffering.

So the decision has been made and I am determined to stick to it.  November 30, 2007 will be Curly's last best day with us and I will enjoy every bit of that day with him.  It's the least I can do for him.

Comments

[Lisa]

I've said it before but...what a supremely LUCKY DOG Curly is to have such a compassionate human.

[bonnie]

That takes an amazing amount of clarity and devotion to your dog to do this for him and not hold on for yourself. I wish we were there for that scratch behind the ears. Please give him one for us.